I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Why is it that a person is “gay” or “straight” or some other sexuality. Why is that who we are? Why is that? Why is our sexuality supposed to be our identity? What is all this right now? That seems to demean who we really are.
I am not merely my sexuality. And what does that even mean!?! Why is my identity supposed to be who I want to have sex with? Why can’t my identity be who I want to love and cherish and gather up in my heart? Why does it have to be brought all the way down to genitalia preference?
Why are people so quick to claim that— I see it everywhere… on people’s Tumblrs… the first thing they want people to know is that they’re “straight”. Why? Ugh. I like this articles points… It definitely brought up a lot of things I’ve been thinking lately about this whole Gay/Straight/Sexuality idea…
^You should read Paris’ The End of Sexual Identity.
What struck me about this article was this,
“The Gay Best Friend Abstraction isn’t just a false category in which to place a person — it is an amputation of the person. When girls want a “gay best friend” they certainly aren’t asking for a unique human being, with all aching, terrifying desires human beings contain, who will work for their ultimate good to the point of death. They want an accessory. The “Gay Best Friend” must — above all things — be safe. He must have all the emotional benefits of being a male, without the emotional threats. He must be supportive, without reminding her of the father-figures in her life. He must provide the emotional affirmation of male, physical touch, without touch ever meaning anything. He must be a girl, provide fashion advice, and — in general — have all the characteristics of a puppy on happy pills.”
I told someone I could be their GBF once, and nearly everything in that paragraph above happened. I do know the person does genuinely care for me, though. But still. I feel awkward when she expresses affection that would make us seem like a couple to others.